Honestly.. .

I love my RA experience. It has been one that has stretched me in numerous ways and even more than that it’s given me relationships (if but a small ones) with 48 young men all seeking Truth alongside with me (at least I hope they are.)

Some of the best experiences I’ve had as an RA don’t come from the planning of activities and parties or any other formal thing but rather from the very casual conversations of substance. One of those conversations happened a little under a week ago.

Three of my guys (yea, as an RA I call them “my” guys) were hanging out with me in my room. It was a rather light hearted conversation at the time. Eventually one of them sounded in with a seemingly out of place remark however. It carried extra weight and I could tell everyone in the room was a bit unsettled by his question. The question was subtly excused and the light heartedness continued a little bit longer. He interjected and asked the question again. We were all felt a bit heavier.

The subject of the question is really not of great importance here. Rather, it is the context and the foundation from which the question flowed out of. You see, he was being completely and utterly honest with us about an issue he felt deeply troubled him. He was asking a hard question that mattered to him. He was being real with us and we didn’t quite know how to respond to it.

Has anyone else ever experienced such a phenomenon? Where someone around them suddenly takes off their mask and bares an honest part of them whether it be insightfully joyful or awkwardly cynical and the rest of the crowd hushes uneasily, perhaps waiting for someone else to answer honestly or to make a joke as to carry on the façade?

Such is very interesting to me, the fact that deep honesty is so rare in today’s daily living that we don’t even know what to do with it when it appears. Honesty is a heavy thing that we seem to want to ignore in favor of the light things of lesser substance: easier to digest but not as good for us. We spend so much of our day wrapped up in what we ‘should’ be doing that we forget who we are. We spend so much time ‘protecting’ ourselves that no one knows what’s really going on. We are so quick to make cynical fun or crass jokes about the things that hurt us rather then deal with them head on. Of course, these are generalizations I’m shouting. If you don’t agree with me I expect you to say something.

I'm starting to think that Real relationships grow when one dares to be honest and that honesty is reciprocated in encouragement and perhaps more honesty.

The young man in my room asked an honest question that night, and although it was hard to know how to respond, I did. What resulted was one of the most ‘real’ conversations I’ve had with my guys in a long time. The weight of that honesty turned into an honest chance for others to be honest too.

Current State of Spirit: Huh? The struggling continues to be good, but I don’t know where the time has gone. This feels like the fastest week I’ve ever had and I don’t even remember what I’ve done or am to do. Whatever the case, there is more peace this week.