The Weight of Family

The student development office is beginning their two-week on-campus theme of “grace in families.” I find such a topic incredibly appropriate in relation to the work in which I am doing on my own world.

Relationships have amazing power to influence our lives. That’s already been established. I am on a journey now to see how such relationships have shaped me in both the good and bad. It is my hope that the good will be strengthened and the bad will be worked out. This week's journey has brought me unavoidably face to face with the concept of family.

Family is probably one of the most powerful influencing relational agents we know of. It does not matter whether we like our families or not, they influence us and make us who we are to a larger extent then just genetics. As I work out my wall and my heart, I’ve been naturally guided to reflect and see my family relationships in a more whole manner. They will always be the closest part of me regardless of how far away they may seem.

Rising Sun's comment in the last entry seems to point in this general direction as well, his emphasis on the importance of the spouse over other friendships is true although I am not in complete agreement with the idea that all other relationships are an afterthought.

Question: Can I see my family relationships reflected in all of my other relationships? Is the way I treat my sister or mother similar to the way I treat other women? Is the way I learn to deal with pain from my father or mother the same way I choose to deal with pain concerning everyone else?

I venture to say Yes, they are in every part of my relationship. I’ve discovered that if one is to ever achieve healing and understanding of self in current relationships whether friendship, romantic, or even casual acquaintances, one must first delve headlong into what role fathers, mothers, and siblings have played in life. For many this is probably the hardest and last thing one might want to do, but I believe for me, it is where I must start. Is it where you need to start too?

What business concerning your family is directly/indirectly affecting the rest of your life? Did you ever notice that they did? What practical steps can I take to reconcile family with the rest of life?

In the end, indeed, grace is needed in all our families. Then again, perhaps I am placing too much weight on family as a cheif cause of my identity. All opinions in support or against are welcome.

Mr. Stone, thank you for your comment concerning the renovation of walls over their destruction. It is a thought I did not consider, but now seems plainly obvious. I think stuff like this is why I started a blog in the first place. I need opinions beyond my own.

Current State of Spirit: Positive Struggle The week is almost exactly as I expected it to be. There has been much happening that has not been pleasurable nor enjoyable, but good and well worth my time in it's own right. It is good to face hard things and learn.