A Season's End

This year’s Memorial Day weekend has been a very memorable one. Like every year, I joined the rest of my church, the Chinese Bible Church of MD, for a trip to Pennsylvania for an annual summer retreat. Like the previous years since I left for college, I acted as a youth group counselor. If you know anything about me, I’ve always been an active member of my church youth group since freshman year of high school. Serving and growing with the CBC Teens’ Group has been one of the cornerstone experiences of my adolescence. And yet for all its similarities to my past few church retreats, this one was different

When I left for Wheaton College in the fall of 2001, I felt sadness in knowing that I was leaving behind a group that I had invested much of my time and energy in. In so many ways, the youth group was home and the many youth in it, family. Earlier in my senior year of high school, I had always thought I would end up going to the University of Maryland, College Park, where I would continue to serve the youth group as an official college counselor while pursuing a degree in secondary education in history and social sciences. Oh, how plans can change…

With every winter or summer break that came, I always looked forward to seeing the youth group again. I enjoyed going on camping trips in the summer with junior highers at Rehoboth Beach or hiking (and getting lost) in the Shenandoah Valley with new high school underclassmen. I treasured teaching Sunday School to 6th and 7th graders who would rather throw paper at me or each other than learn what the concept of ‘grace’ meant. Nothing will ever allow me to forget the blessing of acting as Agent J.C. alongside my partner Agent Z in the unfolding drama of Vacation Bible School. For every teen that I was able to keep up with in some way during my college years, I am thankful.

And yet with every winter or summer break that came, there was also great change. This is natural, but still not easy. Kids make good choices at times and mistakes at others. They fall and get up and all the while grow up. It was difficult to come back in random jumps and watch a cute JH girl become a stylish HS teen, surprising to see a boy struggling to keep a basic beat on the drums at one moment and see him as a man performing perfected fills the next. All this in what only felt like a few short months.

This retreat was not unlike others. I helped serve late night snacks of Boba Tea and Cup Ramen. I made sure that lights were out at 1:30 am and that everyone was up for service around 8:30 (unless i overslept... sorry). I had many a good conversation with many young friends who are now graduating from high school like I was three years ago. Perhaps the best experience of the retreat was the blessing that God gave me in leading the youth group in worship. Such was especially powerful for me because in the midst of that worship, I finally felt God giving me the freedom to let this group go.

As life changes, seasons come and go. With those seasons come many different kinds of people. For myself, the CBC Teens’ Group has held a very close place in my heart for years. The current group of teens is now very different than the ones I knew and served. I am very different now than I was then. It is now time for them to go, for me to leave. This is not to say I won't maintain certain friendships or what not. It is more in priciple. This year’s retreat felt right because it felt like I was closing a door that ought to be closed.

For any of us who have dreamed of holding on to something good if only because it was such an important part of our past, I encourage you that to close a season does not mean to forget it. It only means that it is time to move on to something better, all the while keeping those pleasant memories as lessons for our future.

To all those who continue to serve the CBC Youth as counselors or helpers, I thank you and pray God’s abundant blessings for you. Such work is noble as it is work that shapes boys to be men and girls to be women in a time when the positive character of integrity and faith is often lost in adolescence. You may not hear many “thank you’s” for all the time and work you put in, but always know that I am ever grateful.

To all those in the CBC Teens’ Group, whether I know you or not, hold fast to those brothers and sisters you have grown up with and keep walking together. Keep seeking truth and never be so prideful as to think you’ve got it all figured out, and always remember to love deeply. Things will continue to change as each of you grows up, but all is in God’s timing.

Current State of Spirit: Sick. okay, mainly because I'm physically sick and I hate being sick. Besides being sick, i've actually been well. Still, not enough time to do all I would like to do or be with the people I want to be with however.