Writing

It’s been a long time since I’ve had the chance to write anything outside the typical requirements of a Wheaton College student, the day to day reflection on a reading for Christian Thought or making up a journal entry detailing my internship experiences. Therefore, I am most looking forward to the following interaction.

Why do I want to write so badly anyway? Since when did putting words on a sheet of paper mean so much to my identity? How did the tapping of keys and the appearance of letters on a screen begin to help form the way I live and act? I don’t claim to be a very talented, articulate, or grammatically correct writer. In fact, I feel my ability to spell is probably under par with the typical college student. Pay attention to this entry and you’ll probably find at least one or two mispelled words. I like words though. For anyone who knows me it is clear that I am particularly verbose.

But like I said, for me, writing is about interaction. The words on the paper speak back to me the thoughts I can’t fully embrace in my own head. The letters on the screen are capable of guiding me to new and deeper places. After they’ve been written down, the thoughts won’t just pass away. They stay for as long as the page can last or the internet or hard drive can exist.

For me, writing is similar to a photograph or a film. It captures moments and freezes them in place in such a way that invites those who view it to reconsider why it is there at all. The difference is that where as photos and films capture the essence of reality as it is, (albeit manipulated at times) writing captures moments the exist only in the mind, the heart, and the soul. In that way, perhaps writing is more like painting or sculupture because the expression behind it is far more complex than a freeze shot of reality. It’s shaded and splattered with all kinds of biased paints and colors.

Whatever the analogy, writing captures my mind, heart, and soul in its state as I am, writing about whatever is closest to me at the time. Those feelings that thoughts I’ve poured out will remain the same even as I change.

In fact, this makes the writing process a dialogue/interaction between me as I am and me as I was. I can look back at something I’ve written a year ago or thirty minutes ago and find that my opinions have changed, even if it be ever so slightly. The writings that have come out of me are real and they can bring me to evaluate where I am now, whether I have grown well or lost something important. Sometimes I can write from one perspective and re-read what I’ve written coming from another producing an internal debate of sorts. This may seem weird and schizophrenic to some, but for me it is an effective way of fleshing out exactly how I feel and think about something.

So yes, I’m itching to write more and more these days, but more than that I hope to capture these holy moments of my existence in such a way that words are not only words but are wrapped in flesh. Writing is an avenue of expression that I hold dear, but it is no replacement for the depth of relationship that can exist between real people. That is the stuff that is most sacred. I'll elaborate on that in my next entry.. .

Current State of Spirit: Faithful. Not in the sense that I am a faithful person, but that God has been faithful to me. I've had my ups and downs but at every turn I come out more at peace than the week or day before. It's nothing big, just slow and steady. I think that's the way life should be.