Tie me Down, I'll tell you a Story

I feel as if I've lost my ability to make good impressions. Looking back on my last few entries, my last few weeks of life, I've realized I've begun to float away.

I have a friend who I always enjoy sitting down with over a cup of coffee. We opeate on simillar wavelengths, one that values deep introspection and evaluation. It doesn't take long before we are speaking of theories and concepts that exist no where but in our heads. Such talk certainly has its place, it is neccesary if we are to learn, grow, and change. But there is a fine line between reflection that helps us to live more deeply and reflection that cripples us from living. In those moments I affectionatly call us to, "tie the ropes down." Our heads are filled with stuff that, despite whatever relevance they seem to have, are in danger of floating away from reality like hot air balloons. If we didn't stop to look down and around we'd find ourselves far beyond actual living, floundering lost in the clouds. There is more to life than ideas and principles alone. They must be grounded in our experience. So everyday I must remember to tie down my balloons and make sure I don't fly away.

There is a time for reflection and a time for experience. I need to have more experiences.

* * *

" "Tell me a story" still comprise four of the most powerful words in English, words that are intimately related to the complexity of history, the origins of language, the continuity of the species, the taproot of our humanity, our singularity, and art itself."
- Pat Conroy

I realized last Saturday night that I couldn't tell stories anymore. At least, I couldn't tell them without great effort. It made me sad. I was sitting in front of my house with a friend in the warmth of her car late night/early morning as the dry cold became more and more intrusive with each passing hour. Her intentional mix of mood-setting music repeated itself softly as we exchanged conversation. It had been a long while since we last talked. I was shooting off my typical ammunition of absract ideas derived from my experiences in the last semester. She was sharing stories of her past few weeks. There was a moment in between it all that I caught the difference. Her voice showed me this. Thank you.

I want to be able to tell my story well, every story that makes up who I am, instead of the concepts and ideas that might be derived from them.

Current state of spirit: Busy. I feel like my break is way too short. There are so many more people I would like to spend more time with. I feel rushed. I'd rather not go back to school as soon as I must. What a shame.