Last Moments

“…if I were called upon to state in a few words the essence of everything I was trying to say both as a novelist and a preacher, it would be something like this: Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace”

-Fredrick Buechner, Now and Then

I’ve done a lot of traveling in the past months, both physically and spiritually. Each wing of the journey carries with it both moments of everyday living and especially distinct experiences. Each is a tick off the timer counting down the last quarter of my college career. It can feel very frantic to know that in a few weeks I’ll be phasing out of this season into another still feeling very uncertain. I often find myself wondering about my future, not in a manner that imagines specific possibilities to questions like where I might live or what I might do, but instead simply sits with the question alone. If anything, God has written out my life, my story, with enough clues and to lead me toward a future that is anything but unpredictable. I need but listen, listen and wonder at what my life wishes to share.

Buechner shares that every moment is holy, grace filled, and if observed carefully points to the deeper things of life. This piece is meant to hopefully reveal that. My writing may not be particularly good, but it has served many times as the medium of expression that has led to revelation of the holy behind the ordinary. I think it is nothing short of amazing that a single event can be told in infinite ways, each exposing or accentuating a certain element, none revealing complete truth and yet none an absolute lie. What is more, writing helps me to remember. There are certain events in life that simply cannot afford to be forgotten regardless of how simple they might seem at the time. I have often had experiences where my soul desires to freeze a moment just because it knew that it needed to be remembered. In those moments I make a mental note to write, or if I’m lucky I’ll have a camera on hand I’ll snap a shot.

And now, I face but four weeks of college before I graduate into a different season of life. What are the moments that need to be remembered? What needs to be written down? What pictures need to be taken?

I think I'm freaking out a little, maybe a lot.