Remember.. .

So... It's taken me quite forever to post again. No doubt, the lifestyle I've carried the past months has been such that doesn't provide a lot of free time to dilly dally on the internet. I've graduated from College and now am at home in Maryland preparing for another big move across the Pacific. Its going to be a busy time.

What is there to say? A lot, too much for me to put down here. But here's a passing thought for those who are looking for what I've been thinking lately.. .

When I got home a few weeks ago, I came back with all my belongings from college, this time for good. For a whole week boxes lay in my room and I slowly organized and rearranged the items I’d collected in college, looking for things to throw away or donate. I value every item as an artifact that transports me back to memories and moments I'’d otherwise forget. A t-shirt from a friend, a small toy found in a special occasion, a picture drawn for me. There is a part of my soul that values the past tremendously. I carry a mentality that says the past makes up who I am much more than I can consciously understand. Therefore, every piece of the past I can hold on to and remember brings me closer to understanding who I am and who I am meant to be. That's why simple items like a tourist visor from the Yangtze River cruise or a piece of ripped jean from my Red Army performances can mean so much to me. They are items that transport me to a moment that made me, the texture of the fabric or the way the plastic is bent and broken, every detail matters to me. I guess I am a bit of a pack rat.

I never want to forget the past. I want to understand it more because that is how I will understand myself. Where as most of America looks to the future, I cannot help but stare mysteriously backward. Who I am is where I've been and where ancestorsors have been. This is just one of my rationales for going to China for a few years.

We are all connected to the past. To disassociate ourselves from it in our lifestyle and decision making is shameful and arrogant.

As I prepare for my future, I want to take extra time this summer to remember and understand the past better.